All Grown Up

Today was Lyrik's last day as a baby =[ poor thing.  he's cutting his two top teeth, ya i know he's turning one and only has his two bottom teeth, but thats okay my tits dont mind.  he's learning to walk, which means he's falling on his butt alot, but again, thats okay because we use cloth diapers, so he has some extra cushion under his ass when he falls.   although the other day he fell face first into the coffee table, nothing a little boob didnt fix tho.  tomorrow he goes for his shots, OUCH!!  BUT we did decide to skip getting his hair cut, so he's got that going for him.  and he still gets the boob.  yes, he's turning one and he will still get the boob.
its amazing the number of times i've been asked, "wow, you're still breastfeeding?"  uh....yeah he still needs to eat doesn't he?  why on earth would i take him off the tit and give him formula?  im way to fucking lazy to wash bottles and nipples and measure out and mix formula.  no thanks.  and that stuff costs way to much!!   and besides, the WHO recommends breastfeeding for AT LEAST 2 years, and beyond for as long as the mother and child desire.  do i plan to breastfeed until age 2?  i dont know i lost my crystal ball in the move.

Part Time Parent, Full Time Piece of Shit.

you know what gets my blood boiling, half ass parents.  parents who have visitation rights and make it to half of those visits, parents who could see their child ANYTIME but choose not too.  parents who call in sick.  really?  you are sick sick?  well guess what mother fucker, i woke up at 4:30 this morning to strep throat and have been taking care of my kids since they woke up for the day at 6:30  and will continue to take care of them until they go to bed tonight.

oh you don't want to take your son to t-ball practice because you don't feel good?  NEITHER DO I, remember i actually went to the doctor and am positive for strep throat!  are you sick or hung over?  lets see i've known you long enough, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume you were out drinking and you just dont feel like being a dad today.  no worries tho, i've got a the perfect person for your job.  ME!  i've been the mom and the dad since day one and i will continue to be the mom and the dad for the rest of my sons life.  you can pop in and out when its convenient for you, but one day he will figure you out, and he will resent you.  he will actually probably hate you.  but hey i've warned you a million times before. nearly 5 years in and you still cant be a part time parent.  bet mommy and daddy are proud!

its all good tho, ive got a great man who loves me and loves that little boy just as his own.  he doesn't mind stepping up to the plate when you strike out.  he has since he came into our lives and he will continue to do so for the rest of our lives.  he told me last week he would take him to t-ball practice, because he knew you wouldn't come through, you never do.  he knows this and he does your job for you.  i had hope tho, i always have hope that you will keep your word, that you will be the dad that little boy needs you to be.  and every time you let me down.  you let him down.  and you let yourself down.

heres a little piece of advice, from me to you: GO FUCK YOURSELF!!  we dont need you, we really dont.  our son needs you, he really does.  but i think he  would have been better off with out you.  would have saved him a lot of heart ache, a lot of tears, and a lot of let downs.  its hard to watch him cry, its hard to hear the pain in his voice when he says he misses his dad.  its hard when all he wants is you and all i can give him is me.  its hard to be a full time mom when all you aren't even a part time parent.

we will cover your ass, like we do every time its your turn to be a parent.  we will rearrange our schedule to accommodate yours.  we know how busy you are living with mommy and daddy and all.  gosh life must be rough.

life lessons.

conversations with my sister usually consist of me explaining the ways of life to my sissy.  today we learned about envelopes.


me:  do you have any regular sized business envelopes?
allie: whats that?
me:  an envelope you use to mail bills?
allie: huh?
me: (picking up an opened business envelope) THIS! an envelope you use to mail bills!!
allie: :|  (blank stare.)
me: (assuming she is joking) oh my god, your an ass.

allie:  (in a whiny voice) you cant use the small envelopes to mail bills?!?!



apparently she has been using small envelopes to mail her bills.  not that this is wrong or anything.  but it was funny and we laughed for ever.

life lesson tonight.  we use business envelopes to mail off bills...

Keep your Pant-Shitters Safe.

Soooo,  i have recently become a car seat safety FREAK!  i watched a few of those  Car Seat Safety Videos on youtube and became a blubbering mess and decided it was my job, as mother to keep my children safe, at all times, but ESPECIALLY in my car.  IMO the safest (and most convenient) place for a baby is in mother's womb, but they cant stay there forever.  So when out and about on the dangerous roads of the world why not pay the extra dough to keep you child as safe as possible?  Sure you can get by with a $30 seat from walmart, but does it have integrated steel bars? Or true side impact protection?  If you look hard enough and do enough research you can find a car seat that will suit your child for the entire life time of the carseat.  Which most car seats expire after 6 years, or once they have been in a car accident.

Did you know your insurance should cover the cost of a replacement car seat if yours is in a car accident?

i plan to do a follow up to this blog posting pictures of common mistakes most parents make when putting their children in carseats.

but until then please keep you children safe, sure it can be a hassel, and time consuming, and even a pain in the ass to buckle your kids in and to make sure the car seats are installed properly, but right now thats the least of your problems.  a child with a spinal injury, in a halo, or in a wheel chair would consume even more of your precious time.  and i look at it this way, id rather pay $200 for a good quality carseat, than pay over $20,000 in medical bills, and/or $20,000 for a funeral..

The AAP recently released their new guidelines for car seat safety.
     * Keep your child REAR FACING for as long as your carseat height or weight limits allow them to be.  for most carseats this is up to 40 lbs - my 4 year old is just over 40lbs.
     * It used to be that you could turn your child around on their 1st birthday, as long as they weight at least 20lbs.  THIS HAS CHANGED!!   Again, while you should keep your child rear facing as long as possible you can turn them to forward face at the age of 2 years.
     * Once your child has been turned to foward facing keep them in a 5-POINT HARNESS  SYSTEM for as long as your car seat allows.  i have a Britax Frontier 85  (which i got off amazon) for my 42lb, 42", almost 5 year old son.  He can stay in the 5-Point Harness in this car seat until he is 85lbs!
     * The next step is a BELT POSITIONING BOOSTER.   Children must remain in a belt positioning booster until they are 4'9" tall AND are between the ages of 8 years and 12 years old.
     *  AND  of course kids should remain in the backseat until at least age 12 years.

It is your responsibility to keep your children safe.

Tit Juice.

Tit Juice, Liquid Gold, Boobie Milk, Mother Natures Nectar.  Call it what you will.

Many women think they have low supply at one time or another during their breastfeeding journey, and i've heard more than once, "My boobs just didnt make milk."   This my friend, is probably an uneducated conclusion.   All but 2-5 percent of the Female population produce Breast Milk, and enough breast milk to satisfy their baby.  Even if you don't think you have enough milk their are a number of things you can do to boost your supply.

First you need to determine if you even have a low supply.  The feel (firmness) of the breast, let down sensation, behaviors of your baby, frequency of nursing, and amount you pump DO NOT determine a low supply.  Low supply is usually determined by the weight gain of baby and the number of wet and dirty diapers a baby has each day.  If you think you have a low supply, or if you quit nursing because you thought your body stopped producing milk please click HERE .

There are plenty of things you can do to keep your supply up, such as:
    * Oatmeal - not the instant stuff, the real stuff.  I like steel cut oats, I can't stand instant.
    * Herbs, which are sited on the link above.  I take Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle.
    * More Mother's Milk Tea - I found this in the healthy foods section at Hy-vee
    * Lactation Cookies -  My favorite!  These things are amazing!!
    * Skin to skin -  holding your baby close to you and enjoying and much skin to skin           contact as possible is great, you'd be surprised at what this could do for mom and baby.
    * Nursing - Offer the breast as often as possible.
    * Pump -  pay no mind to how much milk you actually get, but pump each breast for 10 minutes after you nurse baby.  The nipple stimulation will activate your breasts to make more milk for baby.

If you are really concerned about your supply and baby isnt gaining weight and isnt having enough wet/poopy diapers there are drugs your doctor can prescribe to get the supply back up.  I would save this for a last resort, after you have tried everything else.

There is a great Facebook fan page for Breastfeeding mothers called The Leaky B@@b I frequent this page when i am nursing DS to help other breastfeeding moms, to ask questions of my own, and to learn more about the wonderful art of nourishing my baby.

Blah, Blah, Blah

So, through out the day alot of shit goes through my head, and i think i got it out of my system i'd be a MUCH happier person.  so, he we have it.  the shit that goes through me head, through out the day.  i dont care if you like it, i gotta get it out or im going to explode!!  and the contents of my head, as pretty as they may be, would make a huge mess.  and no one wants to clean up brian matter.  or maybe they do.  

Read at your own expense.  i cuss.  i dont use proper grammer, i forget to use the shift button to capitalize the word "I" (except that time i remembered).  i bitch, ALOT.  some of my shit will be informative.  I am pro-life, i breastfeed, and encourage everyone to do it, i cloth diaper my baby and also encourage people to do that, i recycle, and i wear my baby.  i would co-sleep but i hate the sound of people breathing.  and topher breathes pretty loud, so does the dog. so to have 3 loud as breathers in my room, i would never get anysleep.  k bye.

Your Family Tree, or um, Forest.

Why don't more people use protection when having casual sex?  as in sex with someone who you aren't married to.  Abstinence is the only sure way to protect yourself, you partner(s) and your future children, should you have a vaginal birth, from an STI.  It's also the only sure way to prevent an (un)wanted pregnancy. 

Surely I cant be the only person who knows this, can I?   It seems like half the kids that grow up in the generation after ours will be related in some way shape or form.  John's half brother's sister's step brother's sister's half brother's sister is johns step sister.  WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?  Columbus is just gonna be one big fat family tree.  Speaking of family trees...

"Class, today we are going to draw our family tree."  This was one of the things i hated the most in school.  Coming from a girl from a broken home.  My dad had two kids from a previous marriage, then had myself and my sister with my mom, they were married for maybe two years before divorcing, Mom remarried, Dad dated around but remains single.  so, when i drew my tree i got pissed, do i put my half sisters on here? do i put my step dad some where? what about my step-sisters? aunts and uncles, some of them have kids from multiple relationships, what the hell, this is turning into a forest, its suppose to be a family tree, not the Black Forest, teacher i need more paper!!  and of course i was the only one in my class who had a stupid forest.  everyone else had perfect little trees.  assholes.

Yeah, i did have a kid out of wedlock.  two for that matter.  No, I wasn't responsible about taking my birth control pill.  if you knew me at 18, you knew I wasn't the most responsible person in the circle, nor was i the least responsible, but you get the picture.  plus i was in love, the kind of love that would last a life time.  i was determined to marry my high school sweet heart and live happily ever after.  HA, was i ever wrong.  you know the saying, if i knew then what i know now...maybe i would have been more responsible. perhaps i would have listened to those stupid abstinence speeches at the assemblies, but i was young and dumb, and you cant tell teenagers anything, they are invincible.  (by the way, landon saved my life, he made me a better person, he is the reason i am still here today, happy, healthy, and sober)

No, not every family, or every person in this town is like this. i do know plenty of people who are happily married with kids, some are expecting another, some use protection, and some have undergone medical procedures to prevent conception.  with that said i cant help but notice that more and more people in this town are having un-protected, irresponsible, sex.  What is so hard about taking you're pill and wearing a condom, or using spermicide and a diaphragm.  Maybe the pill's not for you, there are other option, and no matter the birth control method you choose you should always use a back up method, especially in casual sex.  Same goes for you boys.  just because she says she's on the pill doesn't mean she takes it religiously.  It is your responsibility to protect yourself.  the pill doesn't protect against HIV or STI's.

It just makes me sick to hear about all of these babies that will be born into broken homes.  It didn't work out with the the first baby momma or baby daddy, what makes you think it will work out with the next one?  Learn from your past, chances are it wont work out. I take full responsibility for having not one, but two kids out of wedlock.  I learned from my past.  I am engaged to be married this fall, and I am proud to say that my fiance and I are responsible when it comes to our intimate life.  We do plan to have more children in the future, but not before the wedding, and because we don't want to conceive before the wedding we use protection every time.  We will continue to use protection, even after we are married, until we as a couple are ready to expand our family.  We as a married couple will use a condom every time we have sex, until we as a married couple are ready.  Why can't the rest of you do this?  Or were you intending on planting a forest of children?